Mary Ann Hayes

Don’t ya just love em! I don’t know how anyone lives without a dog. I swear, they work hard at their job and their job is keeping us in line.

Our dogs tolerate very little laziness in our lives. They cut us no slack and demand a good long brusque walk every morning regardless of the weather or anything else. A hip replacement isn’t excuse enough for our dogs. Morning and evening we are expected to get out that door and make it count. God bless em!

Dogs are honest. They tell us we’re bugging the heck out of em by getting up and moving away from us, leaving the room, going under the bed, growling. No bad words exchanged, just bug off before I bite your face off. It’s refreshing, isn’t it? We always know right where we stand.

Another characteristic I admire in our canine companions is how they handle their bodily functions without any embarrassment. Our dogs belch and pass gas and yawn in our faces with breath so bad we nearly pass out, yet they would never think to apologize. It’s just natural and they are proud of it.  I love the way they go to the door and announce to the world that it’s time to empty the tank. Our dogs bark and bark relentlessly until the door is opened and they are released unto the world, which is their toilet.

One of our dogs like to save toilet function number two, for public viewing. She just can’t function without an audience, so she patiently waits for someone to be heading out their front door before she gets all squatted up and in position for the big show. I stand there smiling, proud as can be, with my plastic grocery bag out ready for the big scoop. Dogs keep us humbled and humiliated at all times. They are so good for us.

I think my favorite thing about dogs though, is sleeping with them. Once they get that invitation to jump up on the bed, the entertainment begins. Our dogs like to curl up sweetly and fall asleep only to have doggie nightmares which cause them to kick and run and whimper in their sleep. They yelp and growl while their toenails dig into our backs and their tails thump the mattress like drums signaling in the jungle.

Then, they wake themselves up and decide to reposition. Usually on top of our pillows so they are kind of half on our faces and half on the pillows. As we wake in the morning, we open our eyes to, well let’s just say puppy parts, as they stretch themselves over our eyeballs, smashing our noses which causes us to gasp in a mouthful of shed. Gotta love that shed. We could make it into yarn and knit sweaters in the lean times.

One more thing I have to say about dogs before I’m done. They are sure clean. They clean the floor, the toilet bowls, themselves and then turn right around and clean food off kids hands, faces and I’ve even seen, teeth! You gotta hand it to em! Dogs are amazing. I don’t know how we’d ever get along without them.

Later,

Mary Ann