As you can tell by the title, this blog is for fellow frustrated writers who have had enough of struggling to get a foot in the door, or just a page through the mail slot, at any of the big publishing houses. We aren’t worthy of their attention unless we have a somewhat accomplished literary agent representing us. Of course, what reputable agent wants to represent a writer with no agent?
Let’s face it, writer. You’ve been at this for twenty five years and still don’t have an agent? Your work must be…well…s*%^#t. Why would I, a reputable agent, waste my precious time considering your work when you still, after all these years, don’t have an agent?
Suddenly the phone rings. Unidentified caller. I answer it anyway. Today is my lucky day, an answer to my prayers, the wonder of all wonders. A literary agent who is thrilled with my books and would love to represent me. Here is our company web site. Check us out and get back to me!
The web site is very professional, great graphics, full of big names and lots of information. How did I get so lucky? I call her back. She is delighted. Now let the scam begin.
It goes on for a week. Back and forth, back and forth. I try calling the phone number on the very professional web site. It says it’s a disconnected number. I try emailing at the info address. It bounces back. I research literary agents on line and can’t seam to find her name anywhere. She says it’s because she’s out of Canada. Can’t find her there either. She is talking to her boss about why the phone number isn’t working. Thanks me for brining it to her attention so they can get right on it. She says I should check out her LinkedIn account. I try, but she’s not on LinkedIn. She’s shocked and will contact them immediately.
She thinks I should consider investing a bit of cash, just a little bit mind you, in their highly successful marketing team. It won’t take much. A $500.00 initial investment will boost me right over the top. Right over the top!
Suddenly, she realizes I’m on to her, and now she’s on to me. The disappearing act is commendable. Not a trace.
So, back to my question: where are all the (legitimate) literary agents?
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